i still can't get into enlightenment

With regards to previous post, i still can't get myself out of the ring of discussion even tho i'm VERY VERY VERY FARKING TIRED to talk about it... I felt misunderstood. I felt that people are drawing conclusions based on certains issues observed. I can't deny that I'm also guilty of assuming stuff, but I have always tell myself to my best of my capacity, not to judge a book by it's cover and assuming things. However, if i ever get out of the circle of judging and assuming, I know I'll really attain my personal enlightenment.

Just a few things I would like to point out from the last discussion on my blog, it's personal, heck, but i'll definately not going back into the discussion loop to everyone. If you see it, good. If you don't, this will stay for a week before it's gone. (HECK, THIS IS MY BLOG. I'M THE EXPRESSOR HERE. YOU ARE THE GUEST. YOU HAVE NO RIGHTS TO EXPLORE MY FEELINGS FOR YOUR PERSONAL VIEW...) It's none of the GREAT business now, but I think I would want to give myself a chance of explanation to myself. (IT'S ALL ABOUT ME. I'M SELFISH... YOU HAVE YOUR RIGHTS TO EXPLORE YOUR FEELINGS. GET A BLOG AND TELL ME ABOUT IT.)

(I'm going to censor off a few words)

...to wholly plan and execute projects on their own... ...provide us with many opportunities... ...cannot take for granted that we can take things lightly and make mistakes like nobody's business... ...be practical... ..cannot afford to only just exist and allow ... to make mistakes and fail anyhow... ...No business in the world can afford that...
(i appreciate the good cause... my point is that the methodology has changed to become more practical, it's now practical VS idealism. what's the different between a sch and this? must as well put everything into a curriculum and start teaching in school? what happen to a place to where ****h are allowed to explore and decide their learning curve? maybe I was wrong in the 1st place, maybe i'm be one who had a fasle impression in the beginning. It's now all business world. Everything comes down to dollars and cents. Where on earth is the farking idealogy?)

...no longer feel a sense of belonging... ...take it from another perspective... ...transition and growth past few months was tremendous... ...perhaps you guys have not been keeping pace with its growth?... ...difficult to keep up unless you are constantly on the job... ...I already felt difficult to keep up with the changes, and sometimes I do ask myself WHY am I doing all these... ...I've lost pace and it's time I re-orientate myself. Take up a more pro-active role, and find out for yourself what you have missed out for the last few months... For all I know, you guys have been busy with your own work and were unavailable to be engage in most of... ...activities.
(being missing in the scene = not knowing what's going on? this is very you Vs me? you put yourself in your shoes and
i'm am in my own smelly shoes... NO matter how smelly your shoes are, it's still different from my farking smelly shoes... )

... not that big of a problem, we do not wish to blow up the matter... ...foster an environment that encourages feedback and views and opinions to be shared... ...who do not "talk" does not mean that they are working submissively... ...were not there when they were "talking"?...
(feedback are brought up by us regarding us... we didn't want to bring out because we still strongly believe it was what it was supposed to be... as for the other voices, it's a collective feedback collected by us...)

...new groups ... ... are joining ... ...every now and then. ..."senior", ...doesn't give you the privilege to NOT take the initiative to get to know the rest of the "junior" ... ...Instead of sitting there, where you look cold and distant, come on! Put on a smile! Get to know them... ... it is more difficult for a new kid on the block to get to know his neighbours than an old kid to take the initiative to get to know him and show him around.
(damn it... assumption for fact? hmmm, if you realise we have never a chance to interact with any of them. and since when have we ever hide the a dark and chilly corner in a group of our own. if we were cold and distant, we would have left the noobs high and dry...)

...it's not like what you guys described as "cold". I love the smiles, the joyful faces that greet me. All in all, I feel it's been quite long since ...
(wrong point, it becoz you are **d and the rest are **w. the difference is you have access to everything but not the rest...)


I HOPE IT'S GOING TO BE OVER... WHATEVER IS POSTED HERE IS SUPPOSED TO BE HERE AND NOT USED FOR OTHER INTENDED DISCUSSION...

AS I SAID, FRIEND IS FRIEND, COLLEAGUE IS COLLEAGUE. THE LINE DOESN'T CROSS.

LIke i tell my classmate today in school, I can work with you but that doesn't mean I have to be friend with you... SAME THING APPLIES...
I CAN BE FRIEND WITH YOU BUT DOESN'T MEAN I HAVE TO WORK WITH YOU...