insommia day 2

i'm really physically tired, but my mind doesn't really put me to sleep. i guess there must be many things going thru my mind. i think i'm crazy. exams is around the corner, or rather in front of me, yet i'm still busy doing many other stuff besides exams.

Jerry said,"you are reaching a milestone of your life, do it once! do it good!" I must start to study good. I will always remember this.

SL asked me to handle everything while she goes for her meaningful trip. My very 1st reaction was YUP, go, don't let anything hold you back.

I asked myself, if i were to make a move for a trip, to NS or leave the world, are there anything that would hold me back from letting go. So far, there isn't anything that i can't let go maybe except for my family. The rest doesn't really bother about me. Many a time, I would neglect my family because they are like so close to me. Irony isn't it, maybe that's the reason why i don't treat them well. I tend to take them for granted.

Just yesterday, my mom told me, she might not be able to take leave therefore might not send me to tekong on my enlistment date, come on parent visitation day and come for my POP. I was like, disappointed because her only son will be entering NS and she will not be there to physically support him. Yesterday, my uncle suggested to go to Genting for holiday. My mom was like so excited and agreed and even tried to take leave for that. Of course she got the leave.

In my mind, i was like, you wouldn't make it a point to get leave for my enlistment, yet so enthusiatic to get leave for genting. Where are her priorities? This morning, when i think about it. I kinda got over the fact that she can place a trip in front of her son. I mean I could understand the fact why she put the trip in front of her son. I never put her in my life's 1st few priorities, neither should I expect her to put me in her life's 1st few priorities.

I guess, I have strongly understand my principle in life - what goes around comes around. I will make sure she will be my life's 1st few priorities.